So Long And Thanks For All The Feels: HIMYM

**SPOILERS**

So first off:  GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Y'all know I feel strongly about HIMYM.

Right now I'm hating Carter Bays and Craig Thomas. I love HIMYM, but I hate what they did to it. There are two kinds of artists in this world: the Van Gogh's and the "insert name of milquetoast boy band du jour"s. One is driven by a passionate need for artistic expression independent of an audience, and the other is driven by a passionate need for an audience independent of artistic expression. I think most artists, certainly those who write for television, aim for somewhere in the middle.

Carter Bays and Craig Thomas crapped on nine years of storytelling so they could stick with their original plan. In the years that came between the pilot and the finale, they forget they were working for us, the fans. They forget that maybe over the course of nine years they could become better writers, better storytellers, and come up with a finale that married their original vision, their expanded vision and skill, and respected the people who paid their salaries for nine years. It's not like you have to like the finale of every series, any more than you have to like the ending of every book or movie. But however these works end, the end should respect the audience and not make them feel like they were the butt of a nine year practical joke. "Guess what? Obsession matters more than true love after all!"


I know some people were happy with the end, some people were rooting for Ted-Robin and are clapping themselves on the back saying they knew it all along. I am not one of those people.

In true Ted Mosby style, a pros-and-cons list regarding the finale.

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Pros:
"In the gang for good"
That moment. Quintessential Lily. The accepting, loving mother to, like, everyone. And in one sentence she captured the entire gang's ethos: No mater what you do, you will be loved and accepted.

The "High Infinity"
Was it just me or was that so them? The want to have the last thing be the best one ever.

The lady on the bench
"Just be cool, Lady. Damn."


Ted blowing off a job for a girl
That was so Ted. The hopeless romantic-ness of it all.

Breaking the "3-days" rule
They did a good-ish job tying up loose ends and making things line up. The 3-Days rule, the bet between Lily and Marshal that Ted would marry Robin, the yellow umbrella, etc.

That Lily knows it's different
We've waited nine seasons: IT BETTA BE DIFFERENT. So perfect.

That the Mother is basically girl-Ted
The ren-fest. The "One more and I'll believe you." She's Ted with boobs.

Barney's blog is a thing 
I wonder what Doogie Howser would think of the boner-joke-of-the-day.

Last appearances of old favorites
Oh, hello there cockamouse, Hanging Chad, Murder Train, Not A Father's Day, and Robots-Vs-Wrestlers.

The Play Book Two, Electric-Bang-A-Loo
I don't even need to say anything.

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The whole Baby thing
I cried. NPH is an amazing actor. He just looked so emotional. And when he said,

 "You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever."

Gah. #CryAllTheTears. And the way he changed too. It was lovely. And when he told those girls to get their lives together and call their parents: beautiful. And his last line. "Daddy's Home." It was my favorite part.

Their last picture together
It matched the first one in the opening credits almost perfectly.

That the kids called Ted on his crap
"Oh, yeah. He's telling us the story of how much he loves Aunt Robin with 'our Mother' undertones. Seems legit."

Cons:

Legen--wait for it--
They missed a huge opportunity to give one of the show's signature catchphrases a place of honor. I would have been happy if the last line of the show has been "Legen--wait for it--" and then the screen faded to black. 

That the Mother tells Ted she's pregnant in a bar
Granted the bar is a big deal but, still.  She's a hopeless romantic like Ted. They were renting a castle.  And she's all, "My dress ain't gon fit in September."

The split of Barney and Robin
 HIMYM didn't shy away from big issues, like death or infertility. So maybe they were trying to "be real" when they split up Barney and Robin. But at the same time, they could have ridden off into the sunset together. I think they split them up only so that Robin would be single. Then again, baby Ellie completed Barney in a way that nothing else ever had; she made him whole when Robin didn't, and if they had stayed together, Barney may never have become a father. So maybe their splitting up was, ultimately, OK. She didn't deserve Daddy Barney anyway.

Robin's bitterness
I'm just not happy with Robin. She was awful to all her "friends." Not to mention that horrible hair cut she was sporting at the end. When she broke up with Barney the first time, she stayed friends with everyone. When she broke up with Ted, she stayed friends with all of them. That she couldn't stay friends with everyone after breaking up with Barney speaks to just how deep her connection with Barney really was, and how it should not have been so blithely tossed aside.


Killling the Mother

Made by me, driven by Carter Bays and Craig Thomas

They shouldn't have killed off the mother. The point of the show was meeting the Mother. The Mother. Out of the entire last season, the Mother had the equivalent of less than one episode with Ted. Then wham--hospital bed. No death. No funeral or wake. No sad Ted, no sad kids. Nothing. We've been waiting for her for 9 years--9 years!--and she's a footnote in the whole Ted-Robin will-they-won't-they dance.

Lily as Incubator
We got to see Ted succeed as an architect, Marshall as a judge (Fudge Supreme!), Barney as a blogger, and Robin as an internationally known news anchor. All we saw of Lily's life was that she had another child after Daisy. 



I've read a number of posts about the HIMYM finale. Here are links to the two that I've liked the best. YMMV.

From Terribleminds: The HIMYM Finale: Or, "How An Audience Gets a Fist to the Crotch" (F*bomb warning)

E!: In Defense of the HIMYM Finale

Everything You Need To Know About: BBC Sherlock

L-R
John Watson/Martin Freeman
Sherlock Holmes/Benedict Cumberbatch
Mycroft Holmes/Mark Gatiss
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Something you need to understand before we dive into the deep recesses of the Sherlock fandom: Sherlock fans have always been crazy. Always. When Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle killed off Sherlock Holmes in his beloved books, there were riots in the streets. Riots in the streets. Any fandom willing to riot is a winner in my book. So if I--or any other Sherlock Fan-person--gets a little crazy, passionate or just weird, we're just carrying on the tradition.

Enter Sherlock Holmes (surprise, surprise).  Sherlock is a recovering drug addict, high functioning sociopath, more than a little bit mad himself, incredibly brilliant, and (more times than not) an arse. He works as the first Consulting Detective in the whole wide world. "Whole wide world" is a strong claim. He said,  "I invented the job," but... What was I saying? Oh yeah, Sherlock works with New Scotland Yard along side Detective Greg Lestrade, Molly Hooper, Sgt. Sally Donovan (whom we hate) and Anderson (whom we hate even more).

Sherlock's brother Mycroft is the British government, "when he's not too busy being the British Secret Services or the CIA on a freelance basis." He may not be as mad as his brother, but he is as intelligent. Which is a little scary.

Sherlock's assistant/companion/only friend is John Watson, a former British Army officer/doctor. Watson served in Afghanistan, where he was shot in the left shoulder, then returned home suffering from PTSD. One day he went out for tea. Tea. And his life changed. He ran into a friend who introduced him to Sherlock. Through circumstances I won't spoil for you, Sherlock and Watson became co-workers and flat-mates, and they're taking London by storm.

Now in this storm, there's one little cloud that's not happy. 

You are not allowed to be this cute AND evil.
(Soruce)

And his name is Moriarty. Played brilliantly by Andrew Scott, Moriarty is definitely the Big Bad. And cute. And evil. He made me question my morals. He makes me question my morals. Stupid morals.

If you want an insanely well put together guide to Sherlock (and who doesn't?), you can find it here.

BBC has so far produced three series of Sherlock, each three episodes long. There was a terrible cliff-hanger at the end of series 2, and there was much wailing and gnashing of fan teeth during the hiatus. (Stupid successful actors and their other brilliant projects.) Two additional series have been ordered and Gatiss and Moffat report to have the story lines already developed. Hopefully we won't have another interminable hiatus before series 4 begins, either Christmas 2014 or sometime in 2016, depending on which account you read.  

Popular ships: 

Johnlock (John Watson/Sherlock Holmes), Sherlolly (Sherlock Holmes/Molly Hooper), Sheriarty (Sherlock Holmes/Jim Moriarty), Mylock (Mycroft and Sherlock Holmes), Mystrade (Mycroft Holmes/DI Greg Lestrade), and Grolly ( DI Greg Lestrade/Molly Hooper). What's a ship, you ask? Let me 'splain. 

There's a lot more to say about Sherlock, and I will, but this is the end of the "Everything You Need To Know About" blog series as a regular thing. There will be "Everything You Need To Know About"s in the future, but starting next Monday, we launch "SuperWhoLock: The Musical"! A song for every main character and ship! If you have a suggestion, comment below. Until Wednesday, dear reader, I bid thee adieu.  

"How I Met Your Mother" Is Ending. So Is My Childhood.

Look how young and hopeful they are.
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(SPOILERS AHEAD FOR SEASONS 1-9)

So I'll just say it.

I don't have lots of friends.

I have two people I'd call besties.

And both of them have been made in the last three years.

 And before that I had "How I Met Your Mother" (HIMYM). I know it must seem stupid, but HIMYM was my sports. It's what I did after school. It was a constant in my life when I had a monkey-butt load of other stuff going on.
And to this day, I am a walking, living, breathing, laughing, crying, HIMYM encyclopedia.

This is hard for me to write even. I don't like endings. I'm quite Finifugal. I'll probably watch the last six minutes of the last episode on repeat for the next 27 days. As the great prophet Chuck once said:

^ Word Y'all
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"Endings are hard. Any chapped-ass monkey with a keyboard can poop out a beginning, but endings are impossible. You try to tie up every loose end, but you never can. The fans are always gonna bitch. There's always gonna be holes. And since it's the ending, it's all supposed to add up to something. I'm telling you, they're a raging pain in the ass."

Carter Bays is doing a awesome job of tying up all the lose ends. We find out Blah-Blah's name (BTW Carol?!?!), the slap bet ends, and the mother draws closer and closer to Ted.

When I had a bad day, Ted and Robin's will-they-won't-they relationship made my stuff seem hopeful.


When my mom and dad would fight, Marshmallow and LillyPad made it seem like there was hope for them.

When I felt ugly, Barney hitting on some dumb floosy made it seem like there was hope for anyone.

For years HIMYM was the highlight of my day. A constant no matter what.  It was there every Monday like clockwork. But it's still ending. And I'm not happy. "How I Met Your Dad" might help bandage the sucking chest wound that is HIMYM ending. But it won't be the same.
 
Now it's nearly done.

And I'm crying.

And it's just closer.

Everything You Need To Know About: Doctor Who Part 2

A lovely diagram of the Companions and Doctors
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Hello world! Welcome to Everything You Need To Know About: Doctor Who, part 2! Duh Duh Duuuuhhhhh!


Let's dive right in then.


After reading my last expertly written post, you might be asking yourself,  "Self? Doesn't the Doctor get lonely in all of time by himself?"


Well he does. And that's where the Companions come in.


Companions are more than just side-kicks. They are his Time-Buddies, if you will. A Companion and extra pair of eyes to keep the Doctor from blowing up planets when McDonald's forgets his fries. They also keep him grounded and in touch with the human side of his nature when the enormity of his role in the universe becomes too much.


Over the years, his companions have been family members, friends, mechanical (see K-9), alien, and even love interests. Some have been there for only an episode, while others have traveled from one doctor to the next.  My mother has a theory that the relationship between your favorite companion and doctor may just mirror your own feelings about and relationship with him. But then she's weird.

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The Doctor's mode of transportation in time and space is the Tardis, which stands for "Time And Relative Dimension In Space." The Tardis looks like a blue police box from Britain in the 1960s. She, because ships are always she, has a chameleon circuit that allows her to change her appearance, but alas, it is broken. Although the Tardis' appearance changes internally and incrementally externally from Time Lord to Time Lord, she remains the blue box we all love and know so well.

Another perk of being a Whovian--that's what DW fans are called BTW--is the spin offs! The Sarah Jane Adventures starred the late Elisabeth Sladen, a former companion, and Torchwood (fun fact: Torchwood is a anagram for Doctor Who) which stars John Barrowman as Captain Jack Harkness (#TeamIanto). While "The Sarah Jane Adventures" are targeted for a tween-teen audience, "Torchwood" is much more adult let's just say. How Adult? F-Bombs and naked Barrowman butt adult. Mom won't let me watch unsupervised adult. Just saying.

So now you've got enough basic Who knowledge to dive right in and binge watch several seasons or at least some episodes. Which episodes? Well, we'll talk about that soon enough.


Next stop on the "Everything You Need To Know About" train? Hide yo dead bodies, hide yo sanity:  it's BBC SHERLOCK TIME.

Happy Birthday Thomas Padalecki and Freema Agyeman!!!

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Happy 2nd birthday to Thomas Padalecki and happy 35th birthday to Freema Agyeman!!!

Why is it that Fandom birthdays happen in twos?

John Barrowman and
Alexandra "Alex" Kingston's birthday is March 11.
  

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Can the universe not handle the awesome so it just glops birthdays into a ball so that only has to recover the once?

I don't know.

But, I do know that Mini-Moose
and Martha bleedin' Jones must be birthdaying it up somewhere good.


BONUS! When you Google "Jared Padalecki is a ..." the first thing that comes up after "...Moose" is "...handsome actor guy." Oh, internet, you so fun.

Everything You Need To Know About: The Doctor, or Doctor Who Part 1

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It is my task to explain Doctor Who (DW) in this post. Oy vey. Crapaflap, 50 years of TV in one post; I repeat, oy vey.

(Some time passes wherein I pull out my hair.)

Do you know how hard it is to explain Doctor Who in one post? There are encyclopedias, literally encyclopedias, explaining Doctor Who.

There's too much to explain within the current temporal parameters. Let me sum up. Starting with The Doctor. (As always, I'll never spoil you for anything that matters without warning you.)

The Doctor is, naturally, the main character, our flawed yet much loved hero whose adventures through time and space form the basis of the show. "The Doctor" is his title, self-chosen, rather than his name, which is never revealed to us, even in the episode titled "The Name of the Doctor." For all we know, his name could be Bruce. Or something that sounds like dolphins crying in space ("So long and thanks for all the feels!").

Although he struggles with conflicts and challenges that are all too human, the Doctor himself is not human. He is a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey. Are there other Time Lords from Gallifrey running around? Kind of, but to explain that would involve spoilers, sweetie.

What does a Time Lord do, you ask? He has a really big brain, capable of seeing all of time at once. And he's a kind of guardian, making sure nobody mucks about in the time stream, changing things. Except Time Lords, of course. But even then there are certain fixed points in time, things that HAVE to happen, that can't be changed.

Beyond that, Time Lords have a particular fondness for London and its home planet, saving us from complete and total destruction over and over again. Including one memorable episode where he prevented the Titanic from falling from the sky and crashing into Buckingham Palace, which would have really interrupted the Queen's tea. (He has a whole thing with the Queen, which you'll discover later, you lucky Anglophile.)

The Doctor is old. How old? Hella. <---SPOILER-ish. He's a Time Lord though and when Time Lords get mortally wounded they regenerate into a new form/actor. So he doesn't have to iron his face in the morning. 

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You must admit the whole regeneration idea is fantastic, to borrow a word from the 9th Doctor. It allows one character to exist throughout the whole of the series while being played by different actors, each bringing their own brilliant flavor to the job. How many doctors have there been? Depends on who you ask. Let's go with 12 for now, although there are two others you'll meet and consider at some point in your descent into Whovianism.

Each Doctor has his own unique outfit, some that should probably have landed on "What Not to Wear: Time and Space Edition." Celery? Enough said.

Is there a limit to the number of regenerations the doctor can have? That number was 12, but there were some....occurrences, shall we say, in the episode "The Time of the Doctor," which was the 800th episode. 800 episodes. The mind boggles. So could there be more than 12 doctors eventually? The BBC locked Moffat in a box until he fixed the problem the first time--rather brilliantly, I might add--and I'm sure they'd do it again in a double heart beat. Did I mention the Doctor has two hearts?



Here's a list of the Doctors, along with the actors who had the honor of playing him, as well as the years they were on. Doctors 1 through 7 are part of the classic series. The 7th Doctor also had a cameo in the Doctor Who movie produced in 1996, which featured the 8th Doctor. The 8th Doctor appears chiefly in the movie, some webisodes that led up to something special, and well, that something special.

The new series of Doctor Who began in 2005 with the 9th Doctor. The new series does not pick up where the classic series left off. What happened between the two series is alluded to, hinted at, and explained later in the new series.

One thing you'll soon discover is that everyone is passionate about "their" doctor. It might be the doctor from the first episode you saw, or the first one that you watched arrive on the scene through regeneration. But whoever it is, like the t-shirt says, you never forget your first doctor.



The 1st Doctor: William Hartnell (1963–66)
The 2nd Doctor: Patrick Troughton (1966–69)
The 3rd Doctor: Jon Pertwee (1970–74)
The 4th Doctor: Tom Baker (1974–81)
The 5th Doctor: Peter Davison (1981–84)
The 6th Doctor: Colin Baker (1984–86)
The 7th Doctor: Sylvester McCoy (1987–89, 1996)
The 8th Doctor: Paul McGann (1996, 2013)
The 9th Doctor: Christopher Eccleston (2005)
The 10th Doctor: David Tennant (2005–10)
The 11th Doctor: Matt Smith (2010–13)
The 12th Doctor: Peter Capaldi (2013–)


Anxious for more Who? Don't worry. We haven't even scratched the wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey surface. 

SuperWhoLock vs. The Hiatus

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There was no new Supernatural this week.

I repeat: No. New. Supernatural.

Supernatural is the glue that holds SuperWhoLock together, what with its regular seasons and lack of Moffat. Without Supernatural we're a episodeless mass of hopeless fanpeople. Or maybe that's just me.

What am I supposed to do with my life?

Which raises the question, what do you do with your life when there are no new episodes? Binge watch reruns? Read fanfic? Write fanfic?
Read amazing blogs about SuperWhoLock? All four simultaneously, you say?


Some weird people (aka my mom) just wait for the next episode. No. Nein. Nopeskerdoodles, Captain Normal. Ain't happenin'.

These, these people--directors, actors and Kripkes--with their personal lives--gah! No personal life for you!

I digress. The point of this post is, what do you do when your shows/life are lost in the marvelous wilderness? Every week is a mini-wilderness year. I am not Sam Winchester. I am not "fine."