How To Be Stupid: BBC Sherlock Edition

In this post I'm gonna get ranty and mad and probably say things like the ever popular "couldn't run a whelk stand." Be forewarned.

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This thing. Right here. Look at it. Like really. This post won't make any sense if you don't read it.  *Clicky Clicky*

Now. On the surface, this may seem like this best idea ever.

Sliced bread can suck it.

I have come to the realization, however, that this is a horrible idea and I apologize to sliced bread for anything that I or my fanling peers may have said to hurt its feelings.


Moffat and Gatiss are not the people who control when Sherlock airs. There's hair and make-up,  actors, directors, producers, sets, lighting and sound, wardrobe, cameramen, and a whole bunch of other BBC Sherlock assorted production monkeys who have to get their collective craps together before we can have new Sherlock.

And I think the idea is stupid really. What good will it do? Are we just to sit twiddling our thumbs while the rest of the world flips over the Watson-Mini? It deprives us of one of the greatest things the fandom world has ever known: new content freakout.

And I'm not saying that Moffat and Gatiss aren't the cause of much torment in my life. My hobbies include writing, fangirling, cats in cups, and doing this for hours on end:

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But that's the writing. Ya know, what writers actually do.

It's not just Mark and Steven sitting in a basement plotting ways to make you feel bad for a year and a half. That's only on Wednesdays.

And I'm not even saying this is all the Fandom all the time. We all have our moments. I once thought I should dress up as the superhero The Non-Crazy Cat Lady and go about picking up cats and putting them all in a cat habitat in our back yard. See? We all have stupid ideas. It's when they go widespread that it becomes an issue. I have 3 yards of superhero cat fabric and a cat-mask to prove it.

This whole idea is flawed to its core.

Best case: We annoy the people that give us a wonderful show.
Worse case: They pull the show because they think we don't love it anymore.
Worst case: Dead. Worst case always dead.

"Thank you for writing a devastatingly wonderful show. We were gonna make you a card, but instead WE MADE YOU A HIATUS I HOPE YOU HATE IT."

I love the Fandoms but--gah. Sometimes I don't think they could run a whelk stand in Whelkville at the height of whelking season. I mean, really? I know most of the Fandoms proudly have the collective maturity of six-year-olds on a sugar high, but really?

I'll be in the bunker with Dan and the crumpets if you need me.

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Formidulosus Sundays: Sherlock's Worst Enemy

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'Ello. I'm in a good mood. I went to say "Sherlock" today and it came out in a perfect Dublin accent. And I didn't even mean to! The past seven months of practicing has paid off. Yay!

Onward to the post!

Sherlock has his faults. His addictions. His ambitions. His loves. Sherlock has a very strong personality and he's not one to half-ass two things. He whole-asses one thing and won't stop until he's content.

But it's that same drive that creates the biggest dangers for him. So many of the times he has been hurt, and/or endangered, it was because of one of his passions. His.

It seems to me that everyone is always blaming Moriarty. Or Moffat. Like all the time. No one ever takes a look at Sherlock's role in his life. Moriarty may be the good old-fashioned villain in our fairy tale, but Sherlock has his own internal villains to deal with.

Sally Dono-blech once said, "One day, we'll be standing around a body, and Sherlock Holmes will be the one who put it there."

And it was. It was Sherlock who put himself on the sidewalk. Was he under duress? Yes. Did he do it for the sake of Jawn and the Baker Street Boys? Yes. But in the end, it was Sherlock. It was his love for them--that inevitable disadvantage--that ended him.

Sherlock is Sherlock's end.
Sherlock is Sherlock's nightmare.
Sherlock is Sherlock's worst enemy.

My Feels Through GIFS: The 12th Doctor

[SPOILERS, obv.]

It's time. Who time. 12 time. AHHHH. And when it started and I was all:

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AND THEN VASTRA, STRAX, AND JENNY. And I was all:

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Can we just give them their own show already?

When Clara was like, "Where's the Doctor? This guy he turned into is old. Do not want;" I was all:

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Grrr. What did I expect? She's just like wearing pants to me: I don't like it--never have, never will--and I can't wait to take them off/her to leave the show. Pants. Clara. Grrr. Did Rose act like this? No. In a fist fight, The Bad Wolf would beat up the Impossible Girl. Just sayin'. And Donna would just be so sassy in Clara's general direction that she'd fall over.

The dinosaur. I know she was supposed to be shocking, and scary, but all I could think was:

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Same thing with the lesbian lizard/human oxygen supplying kiss. It was meant to show love, and hope, and how DW has evolved, and all I could think was:

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Vastra, your 9 is showing.

My feels on 12, you ask? Well, I like him so far. It's hard to tell after just one ep. It takes a little while for each doctor to come into their own. Speaking of Doctors, Matt. FEELINGSSSSS. I made mum pause the show so I could just scream, "Moffat!" No joke. And I'm still a little:

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I JUST GOT OVER(ish) TRENZALORE. DIDN'T NEED MY HEART ANYWAY, MOFFAT.

"Yay, we get new Moffat Who!"  
10 minutes later
"WHY?!?"

I think we need a good name for Capaldi's eyebrows. Capeyebrows? Capildibrows? They're just so magnificent. I want to pet them. Did I say that out loud? *uses GIF to distract from how weird that was*

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Also, I want a Timelord rap-battle.

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"You can't handle all this wibbly wobbly, timey wimey stuff.
Linear progression is whack, yo." 

As you can tell, I don't listen to rap music.

I like the fact that this Doctor is a little older and more distinguished, not so much of the little boy we had with 11. But I do like that they kept some of the same quirks from the previous Doctors. And I like Capaldi as an actor. Overall, I liked the episode and I'm excited for more.

Here, Have Some Kool-Aid: Sherlock

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Welcome to the final "Here, Have Some Kool-Aid" post. Today we talk about converting your friends to the BBC Fandom life.

Sherlock can be one of the hardest shows to get your friends to watch. Because of its long episodes, short seasons, and the stigma that surrounds it, Sherlock can be intimidating for a new fanperson to take on. I've heard of people thinking that Moffat was a villain in the show. He might as well be, but still.


BBC Sherlock staring Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman is an entirely new beast. The RDJ movies, Elementary, and even House MD, are very different. There are similarities among these obviously, but it's the same story told a thousand different ways. And because of the vast and never-ending supply of variations, some people think, "You've seen one, you've seen 'em all."

The adventures of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson are well know and beloved. And just like each Whovian has their Doctor, each Sherlock fan has their own Holmes & Watson combo. Mine is the BBC version, obviously. So when your showing your potential fanperson the show, think about that. Are you saying "Look at this new thing that you haven't seen before!" or "Let me show you a new version of something that you already love!"?

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As you may remember from my last two posts, (*cough cough Doctor Who and Supernatural cough cough*), I have repeatedly threatened to come through the computer and smack you with a rolled up newspaper and say, "Bad Fanling! No post for you!" if you skip seasons.

As Sherlock lacks the number of seasons and episodes that DW and SPN have, I shouldn't have to threaten. Just know the offer still stands if you skip.

As you know, on Sunday nights I post new installments of the various blog series I write. Well, right now I don't have any good ideas. Like none. So, I'm taking a little breather from the series-ing. But don't fret: I'll start back after I have a good idea. If you have something you wanna see, let me know.

I might need to make some room in my head for new ideas. Maybe I'll get rid of the solar system. That seems like a good idea. I mean, what does that matter? So we go around the sun! If we went around the moon or round and round the garden like a teddy bear, it wouldn't make any difference! I hope someone got that reference and you all don't think I'm crazy. Oy.

And Lo! A Fangirl Was Born: Sherlock

I love Shocking Blankets.
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Now, the completely unextraordinary story of my infatuation with Sherlock...

T.V. in summer is about as dead as Sherlock (too soon?), and Mum and I had just reached the end of it all. It was the summer of 2012, and Amazon had seasons 1 and 2 of Sherlock for free streaming on Prime. So, we decided to see what the all fuss was about.

Wow, that's lame.

I mean it really is. Even the word lame is kinda lame. For something so important I kinda blindly stumbled upon it.

BUT...

I did not blindly stumble into The Fandoms. I mean, I did. You can't prepare for that crap. 

I had followed some Doctor Who Pinterest boards, and after Mum and I watched The Reichenbach Fall, I said to my self, "Self? I wonder if BBC Sherlock has a lot of fans. And I wonder if they're on Pinterest..."

Well.

This was my first real Fandom experience. I had had a few close encounters of the Fandom kind, (Doctor Who, Buffy, HIMYM, ST: TNG, Star Wars, etc.) but I never got it. Not really. As you can imagine it was a little overwhelming, diving headfirst into one of the craziest, die-hard-iest Fandoms.

And it was awesome.

I never really fit in. Still don't. But The Fandoms are like a huge extended family that gets you. You don't have to explain your craziness, because they're right along with you. And like in any family, you argue. But you get over it.

How I love the Sherlock Fandom, let me count the ways...

1. It's crazy.
2. We've rioted in the past, and threaten to do so again from time to time.
3. CumberBum, CumberButtons, and CumberCurls are legit things.
4. We have a collective want to slap Moffat and Gatiss with a fish.
5. The ships. 'Nuff said.
6. The quotes. 'Nuff said, part 2.
7. Otters, umbrellas and hegehogs have a whole new meaning.
8. Do I need more reasons?

So yeah. That's less lame right? I hope so.

What do I ship, you ask? Well... all of them. As you may remember from BBC Sherlock: The Musical, Part 2, The Ships, if it's shipable, I ship it. Except Mylock/Shercroft. Just no.  

In case you where wondering, here be my Pinterest. Also our next Jarsen post is coming Wednesday, so yay.

Laterz Fanlings.

Doctor Who: The Musical, Part 2

So as you may remember from my earlier post (clicky for posty), we covered all of the new series' Doctors and Companions. But, Doctor Who wouldn't be very wibbly-wobbly without...

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Monsters! Bad guys, villains, misguided aliens, whatever floats your goat. Without the antagonists, the whole show would just be the Doctor flying though space and time happily. AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT WRITER WOULDN'T HAVE THAT. 


 Now, prepare to be scared. 

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Baddie: The Silence

Song: Who Can It Be Now?- Men At Work

Why? Huh? I don't understand what's happening right now.

"Stay away, don't you invade my home
Best off if you hang outside
Don't come in, I'll only run and hide

Who can it be now?"

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Baddie: Daleks

Song: Bad Reputation- Joan Jett

Why? Daleks don't care. They just want world domination/destruction. Is that really too much to ask?

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Baddie: Weeping Angels

Song: Don't Blink- Kenny Chesney

Why? Reasons.

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Baddie: Vashta Nerada

Song: Shadows Of The Night- Pat Benatar

Why?

"We're running with the shadows of the night
So baby take my hand, it'll be all right
Surrender all your dreams to me tonight
They'll come true in the end
[Or they won't, 'cause you're dead]"

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Baddie: Ood

Song: Gotta Serve Somebody- Willie Nelson

Why? I say "Baddie," but I mean misguided alien.

"But you're gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed
You're gonna have to serve somebody,
It may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you're gonna have to serve somebody"

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Baddie: Cybermen

Song: Mr. Roboto- Styx

Why? DOMO. DOMO.

"I've got a secret I've been hiding under my skin
My heart is human, my blood is boiling, my brain I.B.M.
So if you see me acting strangely, don't be surprised
I'm just a man who needed someone, and somewhere to hide
To keep me alive--just keep me alive"

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Baddie: Steven "The Feel Bringer" Moffat

Song: Another One Bites The Dust- Queen

Why? Because I had to.

He's just killed so many people I love!

*hysterical laughter fading into the endless river of tears*












There you go! Supernatural parts one & two, Doctor Who parts one & now two, and BBC Sherlock people and ships. Really the only person I didn't do for BBC Sherlock was Anderson. And my feelings about him are very unoriginal, so I'm not going back for him. Anderson. Grr.

Next week we'll start "And Lo! A Fangirl Was Born!" my journey to and through the fandoms. I'm doing it chronologically, so it'll be DW, Sherlock, then Supernatural. Laterz, Fanlings.

Vatican Cameos!! (What It Means)

"Battle stations. Someone's going to die."
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FIRST ORDER OF FANLING-BUSINESS: The giveaway still has a few hours left, so if you haven't entered for the Sherlock poster, now's your last chance.

SECOND: The origin of “Vatican Cameos” is kinda confusing.

Some say that in WWII the phrase “Vatican Cameos” was used when a person who wasn't in the British Army came before a General or other high-ranking officer as a signal that the person in question was armed. It’s a code Sherlock knew John would know, being a soldier and all.

Others say that "Vatican Cameos" is a reference to an unknown case Sir Arthur Conan Doyle briefly mentioned during The Hound of the Baskervilles. The quote sayth:

"I was exceedingly preoccupied by that little affair of the Vatican cameos, and in my anxiety to oblige the Pope I lost touch with several interesting English cases."

Interestingly, it's also been said that those who used the phrase in WWII picked it up from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

Either way, it's one of those things that Mofftiss (Moffat/Gatiss) put in for the hard-core fans.

And I know we're tripping over ourselves trying to figure it out and Mofftiss is just siting in their dungeon laughing. 

Kinda like this, yeah.
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THIRD: I need to know what you want me to write about. I could write the best post in the world about... Pandas. But if you don't care 'bout Pandas, it doesn't matter. So make like the "Spice Girls" and tell me what you want, what you really, really want. (Also people who comment "Zig a-Zig ah" will be high-5ed and slapped.)

Everything You Need To Know About: BBC Sherlock

L-R
John Watson/Martin Freeman
Sherlock Holmes/Benedict Cumberbatch
Mycroft Holmes/Mark Gatiss
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Something you need to understand before we dive into the deep recesses of the Sherlock fandom: Sherlock fans have always been crazy. Always. When Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle killed off Sherlock Holmes in his beloved books, there were riots in the streets. Riots in the streets. Any fandom willing to riot is a winner in my book. So if I--or any other Sherlock Fan-person--gets a little crazy, passionate or just weird, we're just carrying on the tradition.

Enter Sherlock Holmes (surprise, surprise).  Sherlock is a recovering drug addict, high functioning sociopath, more than a little bit mad himself, incredibly brilliant, and (more times than not) an arse. He works as the first Consulting Detective in the whole wide world. "Whole wide world" is a strong claim. He said,  "I invented the job," but... What was I saying? Oh yeah, Sherlock works with New Scotland Yard along side Detective Greg Lestrade, Molly Hooper, Sgt. Sally Donovan (whom we hate) and Anderson (whom we hate even more).

Sherlock's brother Mycroft is the British government, "when he's not too busy being the British Secret Services or the CIA on a freelance basis." He may not be as mad as his brother, but he is as intelligent. Which is a little scary.

Sherlock's assistant/companion/only friend is John Watson, a former British Army officer/doctor. Watson served in Afghanistan, where he was shot in the left shoulder, then returned home suffering from PTSD. One day he went out for tea. Tea. And his life changed. He ran into a friend who introduced him to Sherlock. Through circumstances I won't spoil for you, Sherlock and Watson became co-workers and flat-mates, and they're taking London by storm.

Now in this storm, there's one little cloud that's not happy. 

You are not allowed to be this cute AND evil.
(Soruce)

And his name is Moriarty. Played brilliantly by Andrew Scott, Moriarty is definitely the Big Bad. And cute. And evil. He made me question my morals. He makes me question my morals. Stupid morals.

If you want an insanely well put together guide to Sherlock (and who doesn't?), you can find it here.

BBC has so far produced three series of Sherlock, each three episodes long. There was a terrible cliff-hanger at the end of series 2, and there was much wailing and gnashing of fan teeth during the hiatus. (Stupid successful actors and their other brilliant projects.) Two additional series have been ordered and Gatiss and Moffat report to have the story lines already developed. Hopefully we won't have another interminable hiatus before series 4 begins, either Christmas 2014 or sometime in 2016, depending on which account you read.  

Popular ships: 

Johnlock (John Watson/Sherlock Holmes), Sherlolly (Sherlock Holmes/Molly Hooper), Sheriarty (Sherlock Holmes/Jim Moriarty), Mylock (Mycroft and Sherlock Holmes), Mystrade (Mycroft Holmes/DI Greg Lestrade), and Grolly ( DI Greg Lestrade/Molly Hooper). What's a ship, you ask? Let me 'splain. 

There's a lot more to say about Sherlock, and I will, but this is the end of the "Everything You Need To Know About" blog series as a regular thing. There will be "Everything You Need To Know About"s in the future, but starting next Monday, we launch "SuperWhoLock: The Musical"! A song for every main character and ship! If you have a suggestion, comment below. Until Wednesday, dear reader, I bid thee adieu.  

Everything You Need To Know About: Doctor Who Part 2

A lovely diagram of the Companions and Doctors
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Hello world! Welcome to Everything You Need To Know About: Doctor Who, part 2! Duh Duh Duuuuhhhhh!


Let's dive right in then.


After reading my last expertly written post, you might be asking yourself,  "Self? Doesn't the Doctor get lonely in all of time by himself?"


Well he does. And that's where the Companions come in.


Companions are more than just side-kicks. They are his Time-Buddies, if you will. A Companion and extra pair of eyes to keep the Doctor from blowing up planets when McDonald's forgets his fries. They also keep him grounded and in touch with the human side of his nature when the enormity of his role in the universe becomes too much.


Over the years, his companions have been family members, friends, mechanical (see K-9), alien, and even love interests. Some have been there for only an episode, while others have traveled from one doctor to the next.  My mother has a theory that the relationship between your favorite companion and doctor may just mirror your own feelings about and relationship with him. But then she's weird.

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The Doctor's mode of transportation in time and space is the Tardis, which stands for "Time And Relative Dimension In Space." The Tardis looks like a blue police box from Britain in the 1960s. She, because ships are always she, has a chameleon circuit that allows her to change her appearance, but alas, it is broken. Although the Tardis' appearance changes internally and incrementally externally from Time Lord to Time Lord, she remains the blue box we all love and know so well.

Another perk of being a Whovian--that's what DW fans are called BTW--is the spin offs! The Sarah Jane Adventures starred the late Elisabeth Sladen, a former companion, and Torchwood (fun fact: Torchwood is a anagram for Doctor Who) which stars John Barrowman as Captain Jack Harkness (#TeamIanto). While "The Sarah Jane Adventures" are targeted for a tween-teen audience, "Torchwood" is much more adult let's just say. How Adult? F-Bombs and naked Barrowman butt adult. Mom won't let me watch unsupervised adult. Just saying.

So now you've got enough basic Who knowledge to dive right in and binge watch several seasons or at least some episodes. Which episodes? Well, we'll talk about that soon enough.


Next stop on the "Everything You Need To Know About" train? Hide yo dead bodies, hide yo sanity:  it's BBC SHERLOCK TIME.

Everything You Need To Know About: The Doctor, or Doctor Who Part 1

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It is my task to explain Doctor Who (DW) in this post. Oy vey. Crapaflap, 50 years of TV in one post; I repeat, oy vey.

(Some time passes wherein I pull out my hair.)

Do you know how hard it is to explain Doctor Who in one post? There are encyclopedias, literally encyclopedias, explaining Doctor Who.

There's too much to explain within the current temporal parameters. Let me sum up. Starting with The Doctor. (As always, I'll never spoil you for anything that matters without warning you.)

The Doctor is, naturally, the main character, our flawed yet much loved hero whose adventures through time and space form the basis of the show. "The Doctor" is his title, self-chosen, rather than his name, which is never revealed to us, even in the episode titled "The Name of the Doctor." For all we know, his name could be Bruce. Or something that sounds like dolphins crying in space ("So long and thanks for all the feels!").

Although he struggles with conflicts and challenges that are all too human, the Doctor himself is not human. He is a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey. Are there other Time Lords from Gallifrey running around? Kind of, but to explain that would involve spoilers, sweetie.

What does a Time Lord do, you ask? He has a really big brain, capable of seeing all of time at once. And he's a kind of guardian, making sure nobody mucks about in the time stream, changing things. Except Time Lords, of course. But even then there are certain fixed points in time, things that HAVE to happen, that can't be changed.

Beyond that, Time Lords have a particular fondness for London and its home planet, saving us from complete and total destruction over and over again. Including one memorable episode where he prevented the Titanic from falling from the sky and crashing into Buckingham Palace, which would have really interrupted the Queen's tea. (He has a whole thing with the Queen, which you'll discover later, you lucky Anglophile.)

The Doctor is old. How old? Hella. <---SPOILER-ish. He's a Time Lord though and when Time Lords get mortally wounded they regenerate into a new form/actor. So he doesn't have to iron his face in the morning. 

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You must admit the whole regeneration idea is fantastic, to borrow a word from the 9th Doctor. It allows one character to exist throughout the whole of the series while being played by different actors, each bringing their own brilliant flavor to the job. How many doctors have there been? Depends on who you ask. Let's go with 12 for now, although there are two others you'll meet and consider at some point in your descent into Whovianism.

Each Doctor has his own unique outfit, some that should probably have landed on "What Not to Wear: Time and Space Edition." Celery? Enough said.

Is there a limit to the number of regenerations the doctor can have? That number was 12, but there were some....occurrences, shall we say, in the episode "The Time of the Doctor," which was the 800th episode. 800 episodes. The mind boggles. So could there be more than 12 doctors eventually? The BBC locked Moffat in a box until he fixed the problem the first time--rather brilliantly, I might add--and I'm sure they'd do it again in a double heart beat. Did I mention the Doctor has two hearts?



Here's a list of the Doctors, along with the actors who had the honor of playing him, as well as the years they were on. Doctors 1 through 7 are part of the classic series. The 7th Doctor also had a cameo in the Doctor Who movie produced in 1996, which featured the 8th Doctor. The 8th Doctor appears chiefly in the movie, some webisodes that led up to something special, and well, that something special.

The new series of Doctor Who began in 2005 with the 9th Doctor. The new series does not pick up where the classic series left off. What happened between the two series is alluded to, hinted at, and explained later in the new series.

One thing you'll soon discover is that everyone is passionate about "their" doctor. It might be the doctor from the first episode you saw, or the first one that you watched arrive on the scene through regeneration. But whoever it is, like the t-shirt says, you never forget your first doctor.



The 1st Doctor: William Hartnell (1963–66)
The 2nd Doctor: Patrick Troughton (1966–69)
The 3rd Doctor: Jon Pertwee (1970–74)
The 4th Doctor: Tom Baker (1974–81)
The 5th Doctor: Peter Davison (1981–84)
The 6th Doctor: Colin Baker (1984–86)
The 7th Doctor: Sylvester McCoy (1987–89, 1996)
The 8th Doctor: Paul McGann (1996, 2013)
The 9th Doctor: Christopher Eccleston (2005)
The 10th Doctor: David Tennant (2005–10)
The 11th Doctor: Matt Smith (2010–13)
The 12th Doctor: Peter Capaldi (2013–)


Anxious for more Who? Don't worry. We haven't even scratched the wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey surface. 

Moffat: A Love/Hate Story

Someone curses Moffat every 28 seconds.

Feels are really Moffat's "cup of tea." (Yes, I went there.)

"Curse you, Moffat!"

See? It just happened again.

Someone (me) once said:

"The pen is mightier than the sword; with a sword you can kill someone, but with a pen you can write them a magnificent death scene." 

And that's the way I feel about Moffat. He builds up these people and brings them down in the most glorious ways. He breaks them, and mends them, and does it all over again. And the hard truth is without Moffat, Gatiss, Davies, Whedon, and Kripke, the Fandoms would crumble. You saw what happened to the Sherlock Fandom whilst on hiatus. What would happen if--

Oh, I can't even. So thank you Moffat, for everything. For the never-ending cascade of feels, to the amazing quotes. You have given us the most wonderful characters and brilliant villains. And most of all, thank you for making our hearts wibbly-wobbly, every timey-wimey.