Abuse Is the New Black

What do these people, because I'm reluctant to call them men, have in common?
Well, I guess you'll have to read my thingy.
(Lucious pic from here, Jake pic from here, Christian Grey pic from here, and edit by me)

Trigger Warning: Abusive relationships.
(Nothing against the actors, BTW)

Guess who's back? No, not Backstreet. It's never Backstreet.

I've been watching television. Shocker, amiright? But lately I've noticed a trend amongst some of the male characters. If you've had eyeballs in the past few months, you probably know at least one of these suck merchants. If not, let me introduce you.

Empire's Lucious Lyon. Abusive. 
Mysteries of Laura's Jake Broderick. Abusive.
50 Shades' Christian Grey. Abusive.

Let's start from the top of the list.

Nobody is nominating Lucious Lyon for father of the year, but where are the repercussions for his abusive behavior? For his cheating, pitting his sons against each other, murder, and blatant homophobia? He put his kid in a trash can. Repeat: he put his sweet, defenseless little boy in a trash can. He shot a man in the face in cold blood. He lies, manipulates, and belittles the people around him to get what he wants. In what world is that any level of okay? Not this one. Yeah, he's a businessman, blah blah blah. But emotionally scaring the people you love is not justified just because you've built a successful empire. He's a flawed character, interesting to watch, but at least the writers and show are up front about his flaws and abusive nature. How he'll deal with the consequences of those actions remains to be seen.

Jake Broderick, on the other hand, is painted in a very endearing light for what he really is: narcissistic, manipulative, and a cheater. But the show is all about star crossed lovers Captain Jake and Detective Laura, their lost love, and the sparkly spark that yet shines betwixt them. You know why? Because he's the father of her children. That person is always going to hold a special place in your heart. But if you really watch what's going on, it's clear that Jake has no respect for Laura's boundaries, privacy, or her other relationships. Unfortunately the writers portray this as cute and charming, ignoring the fact that his behavior is abusive, particularly since he is in a position of power over her. Jake Broderick gets my vote as the worst abuser on this list because his abuse is written as "cute," and "acceptable" and is, consequently, more insidious. 

It's kinda established that Christian Grey is an abusive buttmonkey. And I'm not talking about the BDSM: I'm talking about his abuse of power in a his relationship with what's-her-face. Where's the education, the explanation of what "safe, sane and consensual" means? I wouldn't just stumble into my fancy-sexy-boss-man-person's room devoted to radioactive monkey science and just do it. You've got to know what you're getting yourself into before you start with the radioactive monkey sciences. He took a young, impressionable, naive girl and pushed her into the deep end of a world she had only ever heard of. Yeah, yeah, fantasy, blah, blah. Abuse is still abuse.

I'm not going to stop watching Empire or Mysteries of Laura. It's good television. So is Hannibal. That doesn't mean we should eat people, and it doesn't mean that abuse is okay. We just need to acknowledge that the things that they are doing are not good, acceptable, or by any means ideal.

Abuse is an ongoing issue in our world. It's a sad truth, but it's the way it is. And until we can get to a place where we stop romanticizing abuse and abusers, it's going to say that way.

How To Be Stupid: BBC Sherlock Edition

In this post I'm gonna get ranty and mad and probably say things like the ever popular "couldn't run a whelk stand." Be forewarned.

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This thing. Right here. Look at it. Like really. This post won't make any sense if you don't read it.  *Clicky Clicky*

Now. On the surface, this may seem like this best idea ever.

Sliced bread can suck it.

I have come to the realization, however, that this is a horrible idea and I apologize to sliced bread for anything that I or my fanling peers may have said to hurt its feelings.


Moffat and Gatiss are not the people who control when Sherlock airs. There's hair and make-up,  actors, directors, producers, sets, lighting and sound, wardrobe, cameramen, and a whole bunch of other BBC Sherlock assorted production monkeys who have to get their collective craps together before we can have new Sherlock.

And I think the idea is stupid really. What good will it do? Are we just to sit twiddling our thumbs while the rest of the world flips over the Watson-Mini? It deprives us of one of the greatest things the fandom world has ever known: new content freakout.

And I'm not saying that Moffat and Gatiss aren't the cause of much torment in my life. My hobbies include writing, fangirling, cats in cups, and doing this for hours on end:

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But that's the writing. Ya know, what writers actually do.

It's not just Mark and Steven sitting in a basement plotting ways to make you feel bad for a year and a half. That's only on Wednesdays.

And I'm not even saying this is all the Fandom all the time. We all have our moments. I once thought I should dress up as the superhero The Non-Crazy Cat Lady and go about picking up cats and putting them all in a cat habitat in our back yard. See? We all have stupid ideas. It's when they go widespread that it becomes an issue. I have 3 yards of superhero cat fabric and a cat-mask to prove it.

This whole idea is flawed to its core.

Best case: We annoy the people that give us a wonderful show.
Worse case: They pull the show because they think we don't love it anymore.
Worst case: Dead. Worst case always dead.

"Thank you for writing a devastatingly wonderful show. We were gonna make you a card, but instead WE MADE YOU A HIATUS I HOPE YOU HATE IT."

I love the Fandoms but--gah. Sometimes I don't think they could run a whelk stand in Whelkville at the height of whelking season. I mean, really? I know most of the Fandoms proudly have the collective maturity of six-year-olds on a sugar high, but really?

I'll be in the bunker with Dan and the crumpets if you need me.

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*ANGRILY MOOS AT STANDERS-BY*

Me after all the things today.
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Today has kinda sucked.

You know, I try to spread out my posts so I don't have angry rant against angry rant. WELL, LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE MAKING OTHER PLANS. So, we shall both have to deal.

Now, I will list some of the many reasons why today hath sucked.

1. My having a bad hair day.
2. My adorable new boots hurt my feet because I don't have socks that fit.
3. All my socks have been eaten apparently.
4. The carving pumpkins at our grocery store are horrible.
5. An old lady ran into me on her way into the store and didn't even apologize. It was a hit and run.
6. I nearly tripped over my own feet leaving the store.
7. The other store's pumpkins had little kids sneezing on them. Real life child boogers. Ew.
8. They over charged me for said booger pumpkins.
9. I have a lingering cough and I'm a little afraid I might have Teh Ebolaz.
10. My grandpa is sick. And we don't know what's wrong.
11. I can't cry. I want to, and I know I would feel better if I did, but I can't make myself.

Yeah. Today sucks more than normal. I'm gonna go watch TV. Someday I will do a post that isn't about "suck." Today is not that day. And tomorrow isn't looking real good either.

10K+Cassandra=NOTP

(Pic from here, edit by me, white hot rage also by me)

As of late, I've been watching Z Nation. I like it. I'm not usually into the whole zombie thing, but this one is good. I started watching for DJ Qualls... But honestly? I'm staying for 10K.

He's my apocalypse boo.

KILL ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR FRENCH ZOMBIES.

The Facebook-a-sphere has been alluding to 10K+Cassandra=canon ship. This makes me the opposite of happy. And before you get all, "She just doesn't want him to be in a ship because that means that she can't have him"-y, I give unto you an example:

Dean and Jo. Before Cas came about, I was a Dean girl. And yet, I could look past my feels for Dean and wish him something better. Something blonde and Jo named. I want what is best for these people, even if it circumvents my own interests.

Now, I give unto you some of the reasons this 10K-Cassandra ship is a horrible idea.

1. Cassandra is a cannibal. She has eaten people bacon. People bacon.
2. Cassandra is a whore. She has had sex for money and the people bacon.
3. The age difference. We don't really know how old they are, but I'm assuming 10K is about 16-17, and Cassandra is at least 23. Any doing of the do would be a felony.
4. 10K is nice. Cassandra is not.
5. Cassandra is stoopid. No zombie is gonna try and fix your blanket. Idjit.
6. 10K can do better.
7. 10K deserves better than Cassandra von PeopleBacon.
8. Cassandra stayed in the cult. Yeah, she left eventually, but she should have left the second she found out what was going on.
9. Cassandra already has a taste for human flesh. Can you imagine how dangerous a Z that would make?
10. Cassandra is very closed off. No way you can be in an open and honest relationship like that.
11. What would the ship name even be? CassandK? #NOPE
12. I want a girl for 10K who could take him in a fight. And possibly win. Cassandra is wimpy.
13. Someone's dying next ep. My money is on People Bacon. For literary reasons, development of plot, and blah blah blah. Why ship the Titanic?

I really think Cassandra is gonna die. I do. They won't kill off Citizen Z, Mack or Addy; Murphy is kinda the point of the show; Charlie is the leader, and they came this close to killing off Roberta last ep. 10K would be really hard to kill, and they killed one dog already. That leaves Cassandra. Sorry, not sorry.
We'll see what happens Friday. *crosses fingers and hope she dies*

Formidulosus Sundays: Top Five Scariest DW Baddies

Hello! My laptop is fixed! Go laptop!

Annoucement: My posts will be coming later in the day until at least the end of the month. I was going to church at 8:00am (ugh), but I'm going later now and by the time I get home, have lunch, take a nap, and write a post, it's later in the day. Just keep that in mind.

STUFF OF NIGHTMARES
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This post is purely my opinion; YMMV. Who knows, you might be terrified by The Adipose. No judgment. It's escalators for me. Stairways to hell. And when an up escalator and a down one cross next to each other in midair? Portal to hell. Straight to the pit. Adam expressway. *shivers*

Anyway. To the other things that give me nightmares! 1-least nightmare-y, 10-most nightmare-y, (Escalators are about a 14 on my personal scale.)

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 5. Daleks

The Daleks don't scare me that much. Not the robots anyway. The little octo-alien thing that lives on the inside? That's just... Ew.

And beside just being icky, the whole idea is very interesting. It's odd to think of one of the most feared beings in the universe as a squishy space octopus. The exterminator of worlds is squishy.

Nightmare scale:
1----^-----|----------10---(escalators)

 

 

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4. The "Love & Monsters" green thing

I don't know what the species of this thing is.

I don't want to.

As you may have gathered, I'm a pretty independent person. I don't want to be sucked up by a big green thing. It would be one thing if he were nice, but he treats his body-faces horribly.

Nightmare scale:
1---------^|----------10---(escalators)

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3. The Silence


Why am writing about a blank pictue?

I hate forgetting things. I do. It's one of thoses things that just bugs me.

It's in my brain... somewhere.

And that there may or may not be a thing that can make you forget. No. Nope. DO NOT WANT. 

Nightmare scale:
1----------|---^------10---(escalators)







2. The "Are you my mummy?" kid

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This is the alien that I had nightmares about as a little kid. I had really bad separation anxiety as a kid, so not being able to find my mummy was something that I was legit worried about. Not being able to find my mummy on an escalator? Real. Life. Tartarus.

Nightmare scale:
1----------|------^--10---(escalators)

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1. The weeping angels

I would tell you about the fact the I still have nightmares about these, but I'm too BUSY NOT BLINKING NOPE NOPE AHHHH ASDFGHJKL

 1----------|--------^10---(escalators)

Error Code: 3.141-Fish-Penguin-Blink 182

The error code says... Tree? Horse? Fiddler crab?
I can't read it. It wasn't meant for bloggers to read.
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I've been having computer problems. So many computer problems. From blue screen of not-quite-death-but-potentially-in-a-coma to Windows just taking a nap in the middle of me trying to surf.

It's quite troublesome.

So my laptop is in the computer ICU.

Poor baby.

I wanted to talk about the new Supernatural from last night, but on my Mum's desktop I have limted time.

*sad blogger*

Fear not! I will do that once I'm up and running.

See you in the aftermath, Fanlings. Peace! But... not really.

My Feels Through GIFS: Florida is Eating Everyone I Love

*I talk about Florida in this post. And how much I dislike it. I still love my Fanlings from the molten pot of weird, just not where they live.*

Enter the Giveaway before it's too late! Going... Going...

SO. Florida (FL) is eating everyone I love. Really. I'm having emotions and feelings and FL is just like:

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Let me explain. I hate the heat. Like the world is all:

Gag.
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And I'm like:

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We--me and the heat--have an agreement: I don't get it its way, and it stays away from me. And then in the winter, I'm all:

So, as you can imagine, FL is like the hottest hot place this side of the pit as far as I'm concerned. But it doesn't have Mark Pellegrino, so in a way it's worse.

Sometime before the end of the week my BFF is moving to FL. One month after the library's YA director moved there. And about 9 months after my OBF almost moved there.

GOOD DAY TO YOU, FL. I SAID GOOD DAY!
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I'm harboring some unresolved hate for FL. Not that FL has ever done anything to me; it just enjoys eating the people I love. So FL, I ask you this:

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and I bring you this:

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NEVER LIKED YOUR DELICIOUS ORANGES ANYWAY.

I Think I Have The Plague

To be honest, I know I don't have the plague. The plague is a much swifter death. To paraphrase my grandmother, "I feel like I've been eaten by wolves and $#!% over a cliff." As you can tell, I inherited her gentle, ladylike nature. So forgive my less than perf writing. I'm just too...

I have less chest hair, but still.
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...to be brilliant today. I shall try though.

So what have I been doing today, you ask? Well, I've been siting on my couch with MY NEWLY RESTORED LAPTOP, and watching VlogBrothers videos. Because what other choice do I have on a sick, rainy Sunday afternoon but to listen to the musings of  Hank Green? Also, there is a chocolate cake on our kitchen table, which is like three feet from my face. That's not helping with the nausea, as you can imagine. And now, weird questions from Evangeline because she thinks weird stuff when she's sick!

1. Are people left- or right-footed, just like they're left- or right-handed?
2. Are we all just in a bad dream Steven Moffat's having?
3. If a cookbook author uses an pen name, is it then a Om Nom de plume?
4. Are giant squid just normal sized and the rest are dwarves?
5. Does the mullet make the man?
6. Why do--HOLY CAKE WHIFF

*Brief intermission while I try not to die*

6. --a lot of actors I like have hard to spell and pronounce last names? I mean, really. Padalecki, Pellegrino, Speight, Gatiss, Ackles, Krushnic (Misha's real last name, JSYK), and Cucumbersnatchel. I'm temped to change my name to Ellemehnohpea (Pronounced L-M-N-O-P) just to get famous.

If you have answers, tell me. Now. Go do it. Now. WITH THE SPEED OF LIGHT. Or a ping-pong ball traveling at the speed of sound. Whatever floats your goat.

Also, THIS WEDNESDAY (9/17/14) is the start of the giveaway. I will link to it once it starts. Which it hasn't. Yet. UPDATE: It has! Yay! go here.

*manically laughs and then breaks into a coughing fit*

I'm gonna watch "Doctor Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog" now.

*subliminal messaging to my mum*

We have raw toast and cheese, and you have no excuses.
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Jarsen, The Fandom Panda, Rants

Jarsen flips over when he's angry.
(Pic from here, edit by me, Jarsen by Jarsen)

This morning I woke up to panda yodeling. And as you know, Fandom Pandas only yodel when they're very upset.

I galloped to Jarsen's room to see what was the matter. And there poor Jarsen was, just yodeling his little heart out. It was pitiful really.

I said to Jarsen, "Jarsen? What's the matter, sweetness? Did Moffat get you again?"

Jarsen said, "No. I'm just very mad. I was just thinking about animals in the Fandoms. Or rather lack thereof. I mean really. There's the cat-people from Doctor Who, but there cat-people. They hardly count as straight up animals. There's a dog in Supernatural every now and again, but they're plot tools, not characters. There was that hairless cat in Sherlock, and just no. Redbeard is lovely, but he was just a memory. And the only panda I know of is the panda picture in Mike's apartment on Suits. It just makes me mad. I could just yodel."

I said, "Well, I have my post about you today. I could make it a call to action. If you like."

And Jarsen said, "I would love that."

Then I said, "Ok. What do you want for breakfast?"

And he said, "Waffles please. And can we have bamboo bacon?"

And I sai--Nevermind, BACK TO TOPIC.

So, anyway, this is the call to action.  If you know the writers of a TV show urge them to write in more animals. If you write fan-fic, I urge you to add someone fuzzy. If you are fan-art-ly gifted, I urge you to include non-homosapiens in your images. Hear my plea, Fanlings. Please, for Jarsen's sake. And if not for him, for me. I can't bear the yodeling.

Email Updates And Cowboys

When I changed the name of the blog, the email update-y thing didn't change with it. *grrr* If you haven't been getting the posts in your email, that's why. It's been fixed now, so you should sign up again. You know, if you wanna get shirtless cowboys in your inbox, and that kind of thing.

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My Feels Through GIFS: The Supernatural Season 9 Finale

I've been preparing for the finale.

Really I've just been all:

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The whole week before I'd been singing, and I quote:

"CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SON
THERE'LL BE NO PEACE WHEN THIS EP IS DONE
LAY MY WEARY HEAD TO REST
THEN I'LL CRY SOME MORE"

And going into it I was all:

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About 20 minutes in I was all:

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By the end I was all:

The pocket edition I see.
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And:

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And until season 10(!) comes I'll be all:

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But right now I'm still all:

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I'll do a full post when I'm a little less:

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'Cause right now I wanna find Jeremy Carver and Eric Kripke and be all:

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My Feels Through GIFS

In my last post I used a GIF for the first time.
So I was all:

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Things were going great. I used a new format for my blog, a blog that is closing in on 900 (!) views, and I was planing my 1000 visit giveaway.

And then I got very, very mad.

Misha Collins, The Most Amazing, is in the Alpha Male Madness 2014 contest at E!
And as of now he's losing. So I'm all:

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The problem is that they pitted Misha against Jensen. Why? BECAUSE THEY HAVE A BAD CASE OF EVIL!!! Today is the last day to vote. And I'm still all INTERNALLY SCREAMING.

A lot of people are not voting at all because Dean and Castiel are in mortal combat, and they don't want to pick a side. Which I get. BUT MISHA! I still understand. BUT MISHA! I respect their decision. BUT MISHA'S BUTT! And don't get me wrong, I love Jensen, but I LURVE Misha.
                                                                                         
What I really want to do to the people at E! is:

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Yeah, but murder is bad. And murder by finger snap is worse. What E! has done is made the fandom choose. We don't do well with choices. That's one of the upsides to the fandoms. It's all very open. Sharks and Shipettes live in harmony. Johnlockers and Sherlolly-pops can live in peace without the aforementioned murder by finger snap happening. We the people on blogs, websites, etc., shouldn't put more pressure on the fans. The thing is, all the Jensen pages I follow are asking people to vote for him. All the Padafandom pages are rallying behind Jensen. None of the upwards of 20 Misha pages (expect Misha Collins Addicts ) are campaigning for him.

No wonder he's losing.

*GASP*

There, I said it.

I feel like we're failing him as a fandom.

Oh, yeah and the cherry on the suck sundae? A girl at my BFF's school called Doctor Who "Disgusting." So I'm all:

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I think my exact words where, "She ain't your friend anymore." I hate it when people call the fandoms and shows "pathetic" and "stupid." How is watching a show, wearing fandom clothes, and crying when a character dies so different from watching a football game, wearing sports jerseys, and yelling at a screen when someone falls over? And anyway how can you hate this:

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I digress.
My point is, as president and founder of The Misha Minions-Little Po-Dunk-Town chapter, I'd like him to win.Voting ends TODAY 5 p.m. PT, 8 p.m. EST and again I want him to win. Please vote; the link's right here.  And then I'll be all:
 

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So vote for Misha.
Or Jensen.
Or Misha.
Just vote.
For Misha.

Also, the aforementioned 1000 visit giveaway is in the very EXCITING works!!!

So Long And Thanks For All The Feels: HIMYM

**SPOILERS**

So first off:  GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Y'all know I feel strongly about HIMYM.

Right now I'm hating Carter Bays and Craig Thomas. I love HIMYM, but I hate what they did to it. There are two kinds of artists in this world: the Van Gogh's and the "insert name of milquetoast boy band du jour"s. One is driven by a passionate need for artistic expression independent of an audience, and the other is driven by a passionate need for an audience independent of artistic expression. I think most artists, certainly those who write for television, aim for somewhere in the middle.

Carter Bays and Craig Thomas crapped on nine years of storytelling so they could stick with their original plan. In the years that came between the pilot and the finale, they forget they were working for us, the fans. They forget that maybe over the course of nine years they could become better writers, better storytellers, and come up with a finale that married their original vision, their expanded vision and skill, and respected the people who paid their salaries for nine years. It's not like you have to like the finale of every series, any more than you have to like the ending of every book or movie. But however these works end, the end should respect the audience and not make them feel like they were the butt of a nine year practical joke. "Guess what? Obsession matters more than true love after all!"


I know some people were happy with the end, some people were rooting for Ted-Robin and are clapping themselves on the back saying they knew it all along. I am not one of those people.

In true Ted Mosby style, a pros-and-cons list regarding the finale.

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Pros:
"In the gang for good"
That moment. Quintessential Lily. The accepting, loving mother to, like, everyone. And in one sentence she captured the entire gang's ethos: No mater what you do, you will be loved and accepted.

The "High Infinity"
Was it just me or was that so them? The want to have the last thing be the best one ever.

The lady on the bench
"Just be cool, Lady. Damn."


Ted blowing off a job for a girl
That was so Ted. The hopeless romantic-ness of it all.

Breaking the "3-days" rule
They did a good-ish job tying up loose ends and making things line up. The 3-Days rule, the bet between Lily and Marshal that Ted would marry Robin, the yellow umbrella, etc.

That Lily knows it's different
We've waited nine seasons: IT BETTA BE DIFFERENT. So perfect.

That the Mother is basically girl-Ted
The ren-fest. The "One more and I'll believe you." She's Ted with boobs.

Barney's blog is a thing 
I wonder what Doogie Howser would think of the boner-joke-of-the-day.

Last appearances of old favorites
Oh, hello there cockamouse, Hanging Chad, Murder Train, Not A Father's Day, and Robots-Vs-Wrestlers.

The Play Book Two, Electric-Bang-A-Loo
I don't even need to say anything.

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The whole Baby thing
I cried. NPH is an amazing actor. He just looked so emotional. And when he said,

 "You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever."

Gah. #CryAllTheTears. And the way he changed too. It was lovely. And when he told those girls to get their lives together and call their parents: beautiful. And his last line. "Daddy's Home." It was my favorite part.

Their last picture together
It matched the first one in the opening credits almost perfectly.

That the kids called Ted on his crap
"Oh, yeah. He's telling us the story of how much he loves Aunt Robin with 'our Mother' undertones. Seems legit."

Cons:

Legen--wait for it--
They missed a huge opportunity to give one of the show's signature catchphrases a place of honor. I would have been happy if the last line of the show has been "Legen--wait for it--" and then the screen faded to black. 

That the Mother tells Ted she's pregnant in a bar
Granted the bar is a big deal but, still.  She's a hopeless romantic like Ted. They were renting a castle.  And she's all, "My dress ain't gon fit in September."

The split of Barney and Robin
 HIMYM didn't shy away from big issues, like death or infertility. So maybe they were trying to "be real" when they split up Barney and Robin. But at the same time, they could have ridden off into the sunset together. I think they split them up only so that Robin would be single. Then again, baby Ellie completed Barney in a way that nothing else ever had; she made him whole when Robin didn't, and if they had stayed together, Barney may never have become a father. So maybe their splitting up was, ultimately, OK. She didn't deserve Daddy Barney anyway.

Robin's bitterness
I'm just not happy with Robin. She was awful to all her "friends." Not to mention that horrible hair cut she was sporting at the end. When she broke up with Barney the first time, she stayed friends with everyone. When she broke up with Ted, she stayed friends with all of them. That she couldn't stay friends with everyone after breaking up with Barney speaks to just how deep her connection with Barney really was, and how it should not have been so blithely tossed aside.


Killling the Mother

Made by me, driven by Carter Bays and Craig Thomas

They shouldn't have killed off the mother. The point of the show was meeting the Mother. The Mother. Out of the entire last season, the Mother had the equivalent of less than one episode with Ted. Then wham--hospital bed. No death. No funeral or wake. No sad Ted, no sad kids. Nothing. We've been waiting for her for 9 years--9 years!--and she's a footnote in the whole Ted-Robin will-they-won't-they dance.

Lily as Incubator
We got to see Ted succeed as an architect, Marshall as a judge (Fudge Supreme!), Barney as a blogger, and Robin as an internationally known news anchor. All we saw of Lily's life was that she had another child after Daisy. 



I've read a number of posts about the HIMYM finale. Here are links to the two that I've liked the best. YMMV.

From Terribleminds: The HIMYM Finale: Or, "How An Audience Gets a Fist to the Crotch" (F*bomb warning)

E!: In Defense of the HIMYM Finale