How To Be Stupid: BBC Sherlock Edition

In this post I'm gonna get ranty and mad and probably say things like the ever popular "couldn't run a whelk stand." Be forewarned.

(Source)

This thing. Right here. Look at it. Like really. This post won't make any sense if you don't read it.  *Clicky Clicky*

Now. On the surface, this may seem like this best idea ever.

Sliced bread can suck it.

I have come to the realization, however, that this is a horrible idea and I apologize to sliced bread for anything that I or my fanling peers may have said to hurt its feelings.


Moffat and Gatiss are not the people who control when Sherlock airs. There's hair and make-up,  actors, directors, producers, sets, lighting and sound, wardrobe, cameramen, and a whole bunch of other BBC Sherlock assorted production monkeys who have to get their collective craps together before we can have new Sherlock.

And I think the idea is stupid really. What good will it do? Are we just to sit twiddling our thumbs while the rest of the world flips over the Watson-Mini? It deprives us of one of the greatest things the fandom world has ever known: new content freakout.

And I'm not saying that Moffat and Gatiss aren't the cause of much torment in my life. My hobbies include writing, fangirling, cats in cups, and doing this for hours on end:

(Source)

But that's the writing. Ya know, what writers actually do.

It's not just Mark and Steven sitting in a basement plotting ways to make you feel bad for a year and a half. That's only on Wednesdays.

And I'm not even saying this is all the Fandom all the time. We all have our moments. I once thought I should dress up as the superhero The Non-Crazy Cat Lady and go about picking up cats and putting them all in a cat habitat in our back yard. See? We all have stupid ideas. It's when they go widespread that it becomes an issue. I have 3 yards of superhero cat fabric and a cat-mask to prove it.

This whole idea is flawed to its core.

Best case: We annoy the people that give us a wonderful show.
Worse case: They pull the show because they think we don't love it anymore.
Worst case: Dead. Worst case always dead.

"Thank you for writing a devastatingly wonderful show. We were gonna make you a card, but instead WE MADE YOU A HIATUS I HOPE YOU HATE IT."

I love the Fandoms but--gah. Sometimes I don't think they could run a whelk stand in Whelkville at the height of whelking season. I mean, really? I know most of the Fandoms proudly have the collective maturity of six-year-olds on a sugar high, but really?

I'll be in the bunker with Dan and the crumpets if you need me.

(Source)

And Lo! A Fangirl Was Born: Sherlock

I love Shocking Blankets.
(Source)

Now, the completely unextraordinary story of my infatuation with Sherlock...

T.V. in summer is about as dead as Sherlock (too soon?), and Mum and I had just reached the end of it all. It was the summer of 2012, and Amazon had seasons 1 and 2 of Sherlock for free streaming on Prime. So, we decided to see what the all fuss was about.

Wow, that's lame.

I mean it really is. Even the word lame is kinda lame. For something so important I kinda blindly stumbled upon it.

BUT...

I did not blindly stumble into The Fandoms. I mean, I did. You can't prepare for that crap. 

I had followed some Doctor Who Pinterest boards, and after Mum and I watched The Reichenbach Fall, I said to my self, "Self? I wonder if BBC Sherlock has a lot of fans. And I wonder if they're on Pinterest..."

Well.

This was my first real Fandom experience. I had had a few close encounters of the Fandom kind, (Doctor Who, Buffy, HIMYM, ST: TNG, Star Wars, etc.) but I never got it. Not really. As you can imagine it was a little overwhelming, diving headfirst into one of the craziest, die-hard-iest Fandoms.

And it was awesome.

I never really fit in. Still don't. But The Fandoms are like a huge extended family that gets you. You don't have to explain your craziness, because they're right along with you. And like in any family, you argue. But you get over it.

How I love the Sherlock Fandom, let me count the ways...

1. It's crazy.
2. We've rioted in the past, and threaten to do so again from time to time.
3. CumberBum, CumberButtons, and CumberCurls are legit things.
4. We have a collective want to slap Moffat and Gatiss with a fish.
5. The ships. 'Nuff said.
6. The quotes. 'Nuff said, part 2.
7. Otters, umbrellas and hegehogs have a whole new meaning.
8. Do I need more reasons?

So yeah. That's less lame right? I hope so.

What do I ship, you ask? Well... all of them. As you may remember from BBC Sherlock: The Musical, Part 2, The Ships, if it's shipable, I ship it. Except Mylock/Shercroft. Just no.  

In case you where wondering, here be my Pinterest. Also our next Jarsen post is coming Wednesday, so yay.

Laterz Fanlings.

Vatican Cameos!! (What It Means)

"Battle stations. Someone's going to die."
(Source)

FIRST ORDER OF FANLING-BUSINESS: The giveaway still has a few hours left, so if you haven't entered for the Sherlock poster, now's your last chance.

SECOND: The origin of “Vatican Cameos” is kinda confusing.

Some say that in WWII the phrase “Vatican Cameos” was used when a person who wasn't in the British Army came before a General or other high-ranking officer as a signal that the person in question was armed. It’s a code Sherlock knew John would know, being a soldier and all.

Others say that "Vatican Cameos" is a reference to an unknown case Sir Arthur Conan Doyle briefly mentioned during The Hound of the Baskervilles. The quote sayth:

"I was exceedingly preoccupied by that little affair of the Vatican cameos, and in my anxiety to oblige the Pope I lost touch with several interesting English cases."

Interestingly, it's also been said that those who used the phrase in WWII picked it up from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

Either way, it's one of those things that Mofftiss (Moffat/Gatiss) put in for the hard-core fans.

And I know we're tripping over ourselves trying to figure it out and Mofftiss is just siting in their dungeon laughing. 

Kinda like this, yeah.
(Source)

THIRD: I need to know what you want me to write about. I could write the best post in the world about... Pandas. But if you don't care 'bout Pandas, it doesn't matter. So make like the "Spice Girls" and tell me what you want, what you really, really want. (Also people who comment "Zig a-Zig ah" will be high-5ed and slapped.)

Everything You Need To Know About: BBC Sherlock

L-R
John Watson/Martin Freeman
Sherlock Holmes/Benedict Cumberbatch
Mycroft Holmes/Mark Gatiss
(Source)

Something you need to understand before we dive into the deep recesses of the Sherlock fandom: Sherlock fans have always been crazy. Always. When Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle killed off Sherlock Holmes in his beloved books, there were riots in the streets. Riots in the streets. Any fandom willing to riot is a winner in my book. So if I--or any other Sherlock Fan-person--gets a little crazy, passionate or just weird, we're just carrying on the tradition.

Enter Sherlock Holmes (surprise, surprise).  Sherlock is a recovering drug addict, high functioning sociopath, more than a little bit mad himself, incredibly brilliant, and (more times than not) an arse. He works as the first Consulting Detective in the whole wide world. "Whole wide world" is a strong claim. He said,  "I invented the job," but... What was I saying? Oh yeah, Sherlock works with New Scotland Yard along side Detective Greg Lestrade, Molly Hooper, Sgt. Sally Donovan (whom we hate) and Anderson (whom we hate even more).

Sherlock's brother Mycroft is the British government, "when he's not too busy being the British Secret Services or the CIA on a freelance basis." He may not be as mad as his brother, but he is as intelligent. Which is a little scary.

Sherlock's assistant/companion/only friend is John Watson, a former British Army officer/doctor. Watson served in Afghanistan, where he was shot in the left shoulder, then returned home suffering from PTSD. One day he went out for tea. Tea. And his life changed. He ran into a friend who introduced him to Sherlock. Through circumstances I won't spoil for you, Sherlock and Watson became co-workers and flat-mates, and they're taking London by storm.

Now in this storm, there's one little cloud that's not happy. 

You are not allowed to be this cute AND evil.
(Soruce)

And his name is Moriarty. Played brilliantly by Andrew Scott, Moriarty is definitely the Big Bad. And cute. And evil. He made me question my morals. He makes me question my morals. Stupid morals.

If you want an insanely well put together guide to Sherlock (and who doesn't?), you can find it here.

BBC has so far produced three series of Sherlock, each three episodes long. There was a terrible cliff-hanger at the end of series 2, and there was much wailing and gnashing of fan teeth during the hiatus. (Stupid successful actors and their other brilliant projects.) Two additional series have been ordered and Gatiss and Moffat report to have the story lines already developed. Hopefully we won't have another interminable hiatus before series 4 begins, either Christmas 2014 or sometime in 2016, depending on which account you read.  

Popular ships: 

Johnlock (John Watson/Sherlock Holmes), Sherlolly (Sherlock Holmes/Molly Hooper), Sheriarty (Sherlock Holmes/Jim Moriarty), Mylock (Mycroft and Sherlock Holmes), Mystrade (Mycroft Holmes/DI Greg Lestrade), and Grolly ( DI Greg Lestrade/Molly Hooper). What's a ship, you ask? Let me 'splain. 

There's a lot more to say about Sherlock, and I will, but this is the end of the "Everything You Need To Know About" blog series as a regular thing. There will be "Everything You Need To Know About"s in the future, but starting next Monday, we launch "SuperWhoLock: The Musical"! A song for every main character and ship! If you have a suggestion, comment below. Until Wednesday, dear reader, I bid thee adieu.  

Everything You Need To Know About: Doctor Who Part 2

A lovely diagram of the Companions and Doctors
(Source)

Hello world! Welcome to Everything You Need To Know About: Doctor Who, part 2! Duh Duh Duuuuhhhhh!


Let's dive right in then.


After reading my last expertly written post, you might be asking yourself,  "Self? Doesn't the Doctor get lonely in all of time by himself?"


Well he does. And that's where the Companions come in.


Companions are more than just side-kicks. They are his Time-Buddies, if you will. A Companion and extra pair of eyes to keep the Doctor from blowing up planets when McDonald's forgets his fries. They also keep him grounded and in touch with the human side of his nature when the enormity of his role in the universe becomes too much.


Over the years, his companions have been family members, friends, mechanical (see K-9), alien, and even love interests. Some have been there for only an episode, while others have traveled from one doctor to the next.  My mother has a theory that the relationship between your favorite companion and doctor may just mirror your own feelings about and relationship with him. But then she's weird.

(Source)

The Doctor's mode of transportation in time and space is the Tardis, which stands for "Time And Relative Dimension In Space." The Tardis looks like a blue police box from Britain in the 1960s. She, because ships are always she, has a chameleon circuit that allows her to change her appearance, but alas, it is broken. Although the Tardis' appearance changes internally and incrementally externally from Time Lord to Time Lord, she remains the blue box we all love and know so well.

Another perk of being a Whovian--that's what DW fans are called BTW--is the spin offs! The Sarah Jane Adventures starred the late Elisabeth Sladen, a former companion, and Torchwood (fun fact: Torchwood is a anagram for Doctor Who) which stars John Barrowman as Captain Jack Harkness (#TeamIanto). While "The Sarah Jane Adventures" are targeted for a tween-teen audience, "Torchwood" is much more adult let's just say. How Adult? F-Bombs and naked Barrowman butt adult. Mom won't let me watch unsupervised adult. Just saying.

So now you've got enough basic Who knowledge to dive right in and binge watch several seasons or at least some episodes. Which episodes? Well, we'll talk about that soon enough.


Next stop on the "Everything You Need To Know About" train? Hide yo dead bodies, hide yo sanity:  it's BBC SHERLOCK TIME.

Moffat: A Love/Hate Story

Someone curses Moffat every 28 seconds.

Feels are really Moffat's "cup of tea." (Yes, I went there.)

"Curse you, Moffat!"

See? It just happened again.

Someone (me) once said:

"The pen is mightier than the sword; with a sword you can kill someone, but with a pen you can write them a magnificent death scene." 

And that's the way I feel about Moffat. He builds up these people and brings them down in the most glorious ways. He breaks them, and mends them, and does it all over again. And the hard truth is without Moffat, Gatiss, Davies, Whedon, and Kripke, the Fandoms would crumble. You saw what happened to the Sherlock Fandom whilst on hiatus. What would happen if--

Oh, I can't even. So thank you Moffat, for everything. For the never-ending cascade of feels, to the amazing quotes. You have given us the most wonderful characters and brilliant villains. And most of all, thank you for making our hearts wibbly-wobbly, every timey-wimey.